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The stem gap: women and girls in science, technology, engineering and math
There is little academic research about detransition. But the decision to detransition was daunting.
Ellie and Nele approve of the use of female pronouns to refer to them throughout their lives, including when they were living as trans men. I got so many comments from people telling me my transition was such a success, because they couldn't tell I was trans. The remedy was oestrogen cream. I didn't feel comfortable being seen as a cis man, and I started to feel like I didn't fit in anywhere.
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At first, testosterone made Ellie feel emotionally numb. Ellie and Nele had intense discussions about their own cuange. But so far, researchers have not taken a large cohort of transitioning people and followed them over a of years.
But I was just so happy that he said that, because then my parents were OK with it. I had done my research, and I knew that this doctor could not be trusted. But after two trans men met and fell in love, their personal gender journeys took an unexpected turn, to a destination neither had foreseen.
I changed my style whenever i dated someone new
Then she learned trans men get mastectomies. More difficult sometimes is the experience fpr once again being gendered as female - especially by men on lonely station platforms at night, who might be a threat.
There will be academics like myself who are part of that, but even so, it is a huge of people. She sought help from a transgender support organisation.
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Now they have detransitioned, and live again as female - the gender they were ased at birth. But bear in mind ln most referrals are young people ased female at birth - natal girls, as they are called, who are more vulnerable to eating disorders than their natal male counterparts. But years of taking testosterone has had one profound, irreversible effect. Nele fantasised about removing her breasts.
They regret the decision to take testosterone and have surgery. This can happen, but it is not what Spiliadis has seen among many of his clients - natal females in their 20s who, like Nele, are detransitioning. Detransitioning means facing the things I never managed to overcome," says Nele. That is when they stopped taking testosterone. Those who are medically and physically, but also cognitively compromised might have a distorted view of themselves or their bodies.
You can't change him so stop trying
It has not been an easy ride. I am transgender. The changf moved into a flat together. Ellie does not remember being uncomfortable as a girl when she was. Transitioning to male had not ended Nele's feelings of despair.
I liked thinking of myself having that possibility - it felt like I should have a male body. But the experience of unwanted male attention and the discomfort she felt with her female body stayed with her. They may not be typical of people who have transitioned to another gender.
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Slowly their own natural oestrogen has begun to re-feminise their bodies. She would later develop an eating disorder. So they've had to self-organise, to establish their own networks," she says. Both were ased male at birth, transitioned to female, and later detransitioned to become male again.
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I knew from the start when she first transitioned she would never be a man - she never had the idea of having the complete operation. We have special bodies, and a special connection based on the physical experience we had.
I'm slowly realising ladise that I internalised all of that - that I was perceived in society as something sexy, something men desire, but not a personality. So I will take that and keep it.